Monday, April 2, 2012

A Little

Tonight I took the long way home, listening to Bon Iver with my windows down and my heat blasting. I watched the waves of heat swirl against my windshield, the 90 degree interior wind tangling with the 50 degree exterior. I watched an endless parade of watery yellow streetlights march by in my peripheral vision. Trees waved at me as I passed. I leaned my head against the seat and let my elbows dangle in front of me. I felt a small, twisting ball of joy in my spirit, and I thought "This must be what heaven is like." I don't think I stopped smiling during the whole 20 minute drive. I wanted nothing more than to stretch that 20 minutes into two hours, twelve hours.

I haven't felt peace like that in months. Long, cold months of confusion and fear and anxiety. Tonight a little spring of happiness welled up, as I drove home in my happy little bubble.

I know in life we have what I've heard called "A-ha" moments. This wasn't one of those for me. This was just a little thing. No grand revelations. No visions and dreams. Just me, my music, the wind, and the One who made it. I felt Him work a little oil into the dryness of my heart. Ease a little of the tension I've been carrying on my shoulders. Smile a little with me. He knew. He knew I needed just this "little" thing, that to me, was not so little.