Being hurt sucks. Being mistrustful because of that hurt is so much worse. Innocent people that I view with suspicion, wondering what their “angle” is... what’s your motive? When is the other shoe going to drop?
I hate this part of me. I hate that these wounds can’t heal, a cesspool that gets stirred up every time it seems to have been cleansed. I hate feeling despised, patronized, a charity case. Where is human dignity? Where is human decency? What makes you better than me? Please, by all means, let me know, so I can somehow obtain your perfection. What is the magic formula that gives you the right to judge me?
A beaten dog will always flinch. I’m so tired of flinching.
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