Thursday, March 10, 2011

Things I'm Thinking

Everyone is in bed. It’s just me and my cat. I typed that and looked at it, and I think maybe it sounded a little pathetic. Especially since my cat is ignoring me right now.

Ashton is still sick. I really need that boy to go back to school. My mother in law has been bringing me all his work so he won’t fall behind. Trying to cram three days of 1st grade schoolwork into a few hours has again proven to me my wisdom in deciding not to homeschool. I was homeschooled- and God bless the women and men who do it, my mother and friends included. But I know my limitations. Every time I watched him erase an “h” until it was perfect, every huff and sigh and muttered, “This is BORING”, every repetition of 11-7=4, created an ungodly wave of impatience in me, until I wanted to huff and sigh right along with him. My son is smart. Incredibly so. But with that goes a perfectionism inherited from my perfectionist family- which is fun to laugh at on the sidelines, but not fun to sit through for three hours.

Tonight I had a guitar lesson for the first time since I was 17. At that time I was the singer in a band (that sounds so snazzy, but it was really just a little local thing... and also it sounds like Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da), and I practiced chords until my fingers bled, anxious to show the guys that I could hold my own. After the band, I put the guitar down and never picked it back up. When Jeremy started “liking” me, the first thing that got my attention was him changing my guitar strings for me. He didn’t tell me he was going to do it, he just took it home and changed them. Melted my heart a little. We’ve been together for nine years- tonight was the first time I ever really sat down and made him show me some chords. I don’t know why it took me so long. But lately I’ve really been wanting to write songs again. I don’t know where I’ll start. I guess with G,C, and Em, and a “one two threefourfive” strum. Jeremy actually told me I had to practice them. I hope he doesn’t think this makes him the boss of me.

I got a new pair of Toms today. If any of you have read my elephant blog, you’ll understand why these made me squeal.

My elephant appreciation has grown rapidly over the past year. I want to go out and buy a bunch of black and yellow and orange just so I can wear these everyday. Well, actually, I already have a bunch of black. So now I just need the orange or yellow. I love Toms. I love that one person with a passion is making such a huge difference. If you haven’t heard of this organization, go check them out. Every pair of shoes you buy, buys a pair for a child in a third-world country.

These are the things I’m thinking of tonight. Little random pieces that I guess I felt needed to be recorded.

Oh also, I’m watching Antenna TV. I never knew until recently that there was a spinoff of Three’s Company, called The Ropers. It is so awful.

That is all.


  1. I'm awake too. Except, I have no cat. Just a snoring husband, whom I can hear from the other end of the house.

    My friend Jolene and I are going to Nordstrom's sometime soon because we hear they sell Toms. We'd like to try them on and find out the perfect size before we purchase them from the w ebsite. She plans to get black. I plan to get the elephant ones.

    They match my personality.

    I hope Ashton feels better soon. Enjoy the silence, when even the cat ignores you- sometimes those are the best moments. I am finding that I appreciate these moments. I can't sleep, due to my own issues at the present moment- but what the devil intended for evil, God has made a way for greatness.

    I am blogging again... it is my most favorite thing to do; write, that is... and Caris is my most favorite person. So it works out that I get to write about her.

    I love you. I hope to see you soon.

  2. I love your blog. It's beautiful and heart-wrenching, and probably healing for more people than you know.

    Toms run a little tight, usually. I wear an 8 and had to get an 8.5, but they do stretch out. My elephant pair are already a little bit baggy, so I'm thinking of spraying them with water and throwing them in the dryer. Being canvas, they should shrink right up. You'll love them- they're the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned. And we can match! <3

    I love you too.